The Backyarders
by Kyle Vandagriff
Summary: One kid's dream of creating a real life wrestling federation is achieved as he creates a Backyard fed with his friends! Enjoy!
1. Default Chapter

The Backyarders-  
  
By Kyle Vandagriff  
  
Once upon a time, in a small small town of Hodgen, Oklahoma, there lived a wrestling fan by the name of Kyle Vandagriff. Kyle Vandagriff has followed the WWE since 1996 and has became nothing but obsessed with it. But recently, he found out something about wrestling. He found out it was worked. This didn't break Kyle's heart one bit though, but instead made him want to do something even bigger now. He wanted to control his own federation! To strengthen this urge he found a program that could do just the right thing for temporary time being, it was a program on the internet, created by Adam Ryland called, EWR (www.AdamRyland.co.uk) This program allowed someone to takeover one of many feds. Kyle played this game until his fingers hurt, and he finally got burnt out from it. That's when, he decided to take his made up fed, and turn it into a real fed!  
  
The fed would be called- The GWF! (Global wrestling federation) except there was one problem, he had no wrestlers nor nobody even around the small town called Hodgen that even knew how to wrestle. Kyle Vandagriff walked into his school after Christmas break and met with his friends, they talked about the usual stuff. Kyle's friends were:  
  
Greg Terwilliger, a red headed freckled face kid who weighed 150 lbs. And had a long neck.he was about 6'0.  
  
Michael Hoxit, an obese kid whom weighed around 200 lbs., and was around 6'1.  
  
John Culpepper a skinny kid whom had a good sense of acting. Drew Cheshier, a very athletic kid who is going out with the hottest girl in ninth grade, he's about 160 lbs. and about 5'7.  
  
Tres Phipps, a blonde headed kid who is preppy in every sense.  
  
Cory Hughes, A pretty stout guys that was about 5'8 and weighed around 160.  
  
Mikal Hall a very annoying kid who no one likes. He stands a 5'6 and weighs in around 135.  
  
Chance Clark a nerdy tall skinny kid. He's about 5'11 and weighs about 132.  
  
Travis McDaniel a fairly overweight kid, who is obsessed with Tupac, weighs in around 167.  
  
And finally Justin Routen weighs in around 89 lbs. And is 4'8  
  
They brought up a topic about wrestling during lunchtime and Kyle got a brilliant idea. Kyle stood up and said, "I KNOW! We will create our own fed!" Kyle's friends stared at him dumbfounded. Drew then said "Kyle, we are teenagers, we don't even have enough money to build a fed!"Kyle then said" We don't need money right now, we'll just start by doing it for fun and inviting only our family members, and gradually we will grow. We will use my yard as the wrestling arena and the trampolines as the wrestling ring!" they stared dumbfounded again, Travis stands up" wouldn't we need ropes" Kyle responded"well of course we need ropes! We will use some metal fence posts to be ring posts and tie ropes around the trampoline! So if you are in it.stand up." They stared blankly at Eachother, Greg stood up, Drew stood up, Travis stood up, and before long all stood up. Kyle smiled and said " great! Right here..in this very cafeteria.is the formation of the ultimate force that will beat the WWE.. The Global..wrestling Federation! Everyone come over to my house today so we can discuss this further. Tell others about this too!"  
  
Later that same day everyone who wants to join the fed is sitting in the living room playing Smackdown! Shut your mouth. When Kyle walks in the room with a long piece of paper and some wrestling videos. Kyle places the wrestling videos on the table "Alright.to be a successful fed, we first need to give you guys gimmicks. I have set up a list of gimmicks for everybody here." Kyle passes the list of gimmick around. the list goes like this:  
  
Greg Terwilliger: GOLFBERG. Your gimmick is that you are a golfer that looks like Goldberg, only not as buff. Your trademark move is the figure fore.  
  
Chance Clark: Yardtard. Seeing as you have no wrestling abilities whatsoever you will just blade yourself and do random big spots. You also will scream "XXXXXTREEEEEEEEEME" abruptly.your main move: the botched flip.  
  
Drew Cheshier: Bart Hart. You are the lost hart brother who was abandoned by Stu Hart because Bret Hart wouldn't job to your diaper. Your main move: The crapshooter.  
  
Michael Hoxit: The Hatchet. Your gimmick is kind of like the executioners, your main move is the Hatchet Drop where you abruptly sit on your opponents face.  
  
Tres Phipps: The Heart Stopping Kid. Your gimmick is that you are a evil doctor. Your main move is the Sleeping potion to the arm, which is where you inject your opponent with a sleeping potion and pin him  
  
Travis McDaniel: White Cracka G: your gimmick is that you rap terribly and talk about tupacs return. Your main move.The homey G Bomb to the doggs in the ghetto. Which is a powerbomb  
  
John Culpepper: Crisco inferno. Your gimmick is that you are the secondary officer of the Crisco company. You like to disco a lot and do the Crisco dance (Thrusts pelvis while disco dancing) your main move: The flaming flip. You set yourself on fire and do a flip onto your opponent.  
  
Justin Routen: Silver Psycho. You are the true cruiserweight of the GWF. You can do many high-flying moves and is the risk taker of the company. You come out in a spandex jumpsuit. Your main move : the monkey flip 180 splashing ravishing armed Press.  
  
Boomer Eagle: The Nudertaker. You are a 6'4 giant that walks around in nothing but a thong. You also drive a four wheeler to the ring.  
  
Cody Barlow:goldPsycho. You team with silver psycho and are the main tag team in the GWF. You wear a gold spandex jumpsuit.  
  
Cody Ellis: The Rick. You are a cocky selfish, heel who thinks he's the greatest thing in the world. Your main move: The Rick Bottom.  
  
Cory Hughes: HOGA. You wear yellow and red sweatsuits to the ring. You claim to be hulk Hogan and you're extremely poor and beg for money from the crowd. Your main move: The Mediocre leg drop  
  
Mikal Hall: El Jobber. Your gimmick is that you're a jobber from Mexico who used to job to Mexicans for beer money.you came to GWF hoping for enough beer money to buy a six pack one day! Your main move: the lay down on the mat.  
  
When everyone got done reading, they were dumbfounded and stupefied. But they got over it and became their gimmicks. The next day they put the fence posts up and put the Ropes (which were three sets of telephone wires wrapped together) up. Kyle grabbed the weapons that would be used. They had a ladder, a steel chair, a lawn chair, a cookie tray, a shovel, and various bricks around the houses and many they weapons or objects strewn across the backyard. They also started work on the most coveted title in the GWF.the GWF world title, which was a piece of leather from Kyle's moms jacket shaped like a belt and a piece of aluminum with the words "GWF WORLD TITLE" on it in permanent marker. And the most dominant gimmick match ever...THE CAGE MATCH, which was their abandoned dog, cage. The Cage Match would only be used on big events and for a title.  
  
Kyle then decided that he himself would want a part of the fun and created his own character..KDOGG! They then had to decide a date for the first show. It was in the middle of January and it was freezing cold outside, but they decided there first show would be on January 18th, and they would aptly call it... THE BIG EVENT.  
  
The card for the big event ran like this:  
  
Kdogg vs. GOLFBERG{the GWF title}: This match should surely be a slobberknocker of a match! The amazing Golfberg going against the owner of the fed, Kyle Vandagriff!  
  
The Nudertaker vs. Crisco inferno: The dancing machine makes his debut in this match against the 6'4 Giant the nudertaker! What a clash of styles in this match!  
  
Bart Hart & Hoga vs. the Psychos ( Silver Psycho and Goldpsycho): The Spandex wearing freaks against the Canadian and American representatives. This should be a quite.interesting.match.  
  
HSK vs. the Rick: The Cocky self-centered heel makes his debut in this match against the Doctor that knows his poisons, Heart stopping kid!  
  
White Cracka G Vs Yardtard { Hardcore Match}: Will Yardtard Blade his opponents forehead and botch a lot of moves? You can be sure of it, and also you can be sure that someone in this match will bleed!  
  
The Hatchet vs. El Jobber: I wonder who's going to win this match? It should be interesting to see The Hatchet pound away on El Jobber!  
  
But, we encountered a problem. We needed a ref! So we decided to let Johns grandpa do the reffing since he loved wrestling so much. We had guaranteed that at least our parents would show up for our big show, so at least we will have some crowd. But what an interesting show it should be as the GWF brings you..  
  
THE BIG EVENT!!!!  
  
(Big event will be in the next chapter) 


	2. The Big Event

THE BIG EVENT!  
  
(little sparklers are set on the path to the ring. Kyle lights them up and goes to the ring. After the sparkler's go off Kyle look around the backyard at the whopping 15 people that are in attendance. John'' parents showed, Drews girlfriend showed,Kyles parents and sisters showed,boomer's parents showed, and the rest were random kids from school, Greg's parents and Old Man Roberts from down the road who,we guess got tired of listening to that darn rock music that was playing over here and showed up to see what all the commotion was about.Kyle's parents and sisters cheer as Kyle grabs a mic)  
  
Kyle: hello fellow GWF fans and welcome to the BIG EVENT! (claps from the crowd) tonite in the main event, you will see, me, Kdogg, going against GOLFBERG! (gregs and kyles parents cheer and old man Roberts falls asleep) We are going to start this show off with one great match.The Hatchet vs. El jobber!  
  
(Kyle gets out of the ring as "I like Big Butts" plays from the radio system and the hatchet comes out in a leather coat and black shorts, and its 45 degrees today. The Hatchet has a Hatchet in his hands and raises it in the air as the crowd boos him. "Weird mexican music" hits as El jobber The masked jobber comes out in a red ski mask, and baggy cargo pants. El Jobber gets on the tramporing (my creative name for the ring we have) And Hatchet attacks El Jobber from behind!Hatchet punches El jobber and throws him into the ropes and clotheslines him. The hatchet gives el Jobber a spinebuster which he sells out to poorly. The hatchet give el jobber a suplex. The Hatchet runs off the ropes and..oh my..THE HATCHET DROP! 1..2.......3! El Jobber gets out of the ring as hatchet poses happily, but wait, from behind, its..SCOTT HOXIT (Hatchet's little brother) he attacks the hatchet from behind with a aluminum pie holder!the Hatchet goes down! Scott does the worm as Too Cool's theme blasts over the P.A. Scott grabs a mic. )  
  
Scott: IM BETTER THEN YOU HATCHET! IM THE GREATEST! I CAN RIDE A FOUR WHEELER BETTER THEN YOU TOO! IM COOL! I RULE! (kicks hatchet in the ribs) Im gonna fight you at the next show we have! WHOO!  
  
Ah.the great Mic skills of a 12 year old boy who has A.D.D Scott does the worm. Scott runs back into the pasture behind the backyard, mounts his four wheeler and drives back to his house. Very...Odd.)  
  
(After the ring is Cleared "some annoying rock music" plays which annoys Old man Roberts, and Yardtard runs to the ring Flailing his arms and yelling "Im THE XTREEEEEME" he rams his shoulder into the metal part of the trampoline the throws himself into the sewer line behind our house. He then gets out and blades his forehead in the middle of the ring "Thugz Mansion" by Tupac hits a White Cracka G come sout in baggy pants, a Tupac shirt and a backwards Eminem hat. He raps all the way to the ring and then gets in. White cracka punches Yard tard and Yardtard jumps over the ropes landing on the ground Yardtard gets up. White cracka hits a axe handle off of the tramporing onto yardtards head, Yardtard over sells by throwing himself into the barbwire fence to the pasture. White Cracka picks Yardtard up and yardtard hits White Cracka with a sloppy punch of doom knocking White Cracka down. Yardtard climbs onto the barbwire fence trying to balance. he jumps off but gets his foot tangled in the barbwire.White Cracka grabs a hammer and strikes Yardtard in the ribs with it. Yardtard sells it by jumping over the barbwire and cutting his forehead open on the barbwire, then convulses. White cracka hits the the homey G bomb to the doggs in the ghetto.1.2.3! White cracka wins! Old Man Roberts reportedly "cannot believe these stupid hooligans" we take that as a compliment. Yardtard gets up bleeding.  
  
Yardtard: Liek OMG WTF LOL U TIHNk U CULd TakE M ey 0uT!? Im Teh ExTrEEmZorz!!11!1!! Liek LOL WTF ILL CHALenE U 2 A Tremz0 rZ Match st Teh next B|g eveNt tiHng!XTREEEEEME (blades arm)  
  
(White cracka nods and holds his goober and a does weird hand gestures and walks back to the house whils Yardtard flails his arms and runs around the house yelling XtreEEEME prompting the dogs to chase him and bite him severely.)  
  
( GOLFBERG comes down to the ring to Goldberg's theme music. Golfberg is clad in golfing shoes and golfing pants and no shirt. He has a Goldberg like tattoo on his left arm and is carrying a nine iron golf club to the ring. Golfberg gets in the ring )  
  
Golfberg: Golfberg heres he has a match tonite against the Kdogg. Well, Kdogg Golfberg will beat you down tonite and lock in the Figure Fore and watch you scream. Because you are nothing but a dog Kdogg, and you belong in the Dogg pound. So Golfberg must ask you this. Whos Next!?  
  
(golfberg walks back into the house)  
  
(the Rocks theme hits as The Rick clad in a tommy hilfiger flannel shirt unbuttoned and some dress up pants walks to the ring and grabs the Karaoke mic.)  
  
the Rick: FINALLY..THE RICK..HAS COME BACK.to..Hodgen. Now the rick must ask each and everyone of you something. Do you really think that some evil doctor will beat the most intensifying dude in the GWF The Rick? Well the rick says this, you can take your little syringe, puts some windex on it, and make it shiny, then turn it upside down and stick it straight up a Dog's butt!because in front of the Many, and many of The Ricks fans, he is going to put the Chopdown on your candy cane! IFF YOU SMELLL..WHAT DEODORANT.THE RICK.IS.WEARING!  
  
( the sound of a doctors office is heard and HSK walks to the ring with a syringe full of sleeping potion with a evil smile on his face he gets in the ring and The rick gets out. HSK chases the rick around the ring with the needle. The rick slaps it out of his hand. Chop by the rick, and another. Spit on his hand and rubs it in HSK's face! Irish whip and a Drop toe hold by the rick. The rick picks HSK up and hits the chops again. Rick Spinebuster! The Retards elbow! The rick pulls his shirt off throws it to the crowd. Runs off the ropes and misses the elbow! HSK crawls around. Mule kick to the rick! The rick goes down again. HSK grabs the needle. HSK goes over to the rick but wait, the RICK turns the needle on HSK! The needle goes into HSK's neck! The rick pulls the syringe down. HSK falls asleep. Uh oh. The Rick Bottom. The Retards elbow! 1.2..3! The rick wins! The rick gos out of the ring and climbs on the wooden fence and raises his hands in the air as the crowd boos wildly. nudertaker's parent pull HSK out of the ring and drag him into the house. The rick goes back into the house as well)  
  
(suddenly. Bret Harts theme hits and Bart hart comes out in overalls and a leather jacket. He gives his glasses to some random person in the crowd then jumps in the ring. Hulk Hogan's theme hits as HOGA comes out in his Red and yellow sweatsuit. He has a tin can and raises it in the air then grabs the mic.)  
  
HOGA: You know what, brothers? Hoga thinks it would be nice if someone would fill this cup with money brother so I can buy me some food and a new cardboard box,brother. Because Hoga needs a new house brother! And Psychos, you guys are nothing but spandex wearing freaks brother, and if I beat you brother im going to steal your wallets to brothers. So Whatcha gonna do brother, whatcha gonna do when I get a can of food!? ( flexes)  
  
("Psycho" by SOAD hits as the Psychos come out in their spandex jumpsuits. They get in the ring to various cheer. Gold psycho and Bart start. Armdrag by goldpsycho, and another and another and a headlock to bart hart. Jaw breaker by bart hart. Goldpsycho runs into the ropes only to be powerslammed by Bart hart. Tag to hoga. Hoga gets in the ring and pounds away on Goldpsycho. Goldpsycho is irish whipped into the ropes. Clothesline! Goldpsycho tags in Silver psycho. Silver psycho with a missile dropkick off the ropes! Silver psycho with a backflip onto hoga! 1..2.no! Silver pyscho locks in a leglock on hogas head. Hoga gets backup though a powerbomb's silver from the leg lock position! Hoga locks in a chinlock on Silver. Silver gets up and elbows hoga in the leg (because he cant reach his ribs) silver runs off the ropes and dropkicks hoga in his ribs!Silver trips hoga and locks in the PSYCHO lock (an ankle lock) hoga gets the ropes though. Tag to gold. Gold uses silver as a weapon by having silver lay down on his stomach, then gold picks him upby his feet and throws him on top of Hoga! Armbar by Gold. Hoga tags bart though! Bart stomps on Gold's head as Hoga goes to the crowd asking for money. Bart locks in the crapshooter! Gold gives up! Hoga gets in the ring and steals Gold wallet and takes his 2.00! Hoga is rich now! Bart and hoga win! Hoga flexes his muscles as Silver gets on Hoga back! Hoga backs up and rams silver into the trampoline railing! Hoga runs back into the house as Silver helps Gold to the back.)  
  
(suddenly A four wheeler is heard. IT'S THE NUDERTAKER! The nudertaker rides on his four wheeler around the trampoline and parks it and gets in the ring. "Shake your booty" blares from the stereo as Crisco inferno comes out with a bottle of crisco. Crisco Inferno dances to the ring and thrusts his pelvis. Crisco gets in the ring and does the Crisco dance. Crisco inferno turns around to a chokeslam by the nudertaker! Crisco holds his neck in pain. Nudertaker grabs Crisco and hits a standing clothsline on him. Crisco gets up and punches crisco wildly then he starts dancing again. Nudertaker clotheslines him again. Nudertaker puts him under his legs and hits the Last Strip!1.2.NO!HE KICKED! Crisco kickflips back up and disco dance then kicks Nudertake rin the face knocking him down! Crisco goes out side the ring and sets a ladder up and grabs some kerosene. Crisco climbs the ladder and sets himself a flame and hits the flame flip! Crisco puts out the flames then disco dances some more before finally pinning Nudertaker. 1.2.NO!!!! Nudertaker gets up and slams Crisco down. Oh no..STINK FACE!Crisco submits but nudertaker won't let go! Wrestlers come out from the back and pry him off. Yardtard throws himself out of the ring during this. Nudertaker psuehs them away and smirks at the damage he has done to Crisco. Wrestlers put crisco on a office chair (our version of a stretcher) and wheel him back to the house.)  
  
(through this match "Iron man" hits as Kdogg runs out in Cargo pants and a Tommy Hilfiger shirt plus a pair of sunglasses. He gets in the ring and point to himself. D-O-G-G! Crowd goes wild. Suddenly GOLFBERG's theme hits as golfberg drives in on his golfcart! Golfberg takes his nine iron club and gets in the ring. Golfberg puts the nine iron in the corner and Kdogg and Golfberg circle eachother. They lock up. Headlock by Kdogg. Atomic drop by Golfberg!Kdogg falls intot he ropes. Golfberg chokes Kdogg with the ropes. Golfberg beats his chest wildly. Golfberg picks Kdogg up and puts him on his shoulders. DVD by goldberg! Kdogg crawls on the ground. Golfberg grabs him by his hair. Kdogg elbows golfberg in his face and runs into the ropes and hits a crossbody! Knee to the throat of Golfberg. Kdogg picks Golfberg up and runs off the ropes. Dropkick is caught by Golfberg and Golfberg pushes it back!Kdogg slips outside the ring. Baseball slide by Golfberg! Kdogg goes down outside the tramporing. Golfberg goes out and rams Kdogg into the trampoline railing rib first then throws him into the oak tree. Golfberg gets on the trampoline. Elbow drop to the head of Kdogg! Golfberg throws Kdogg back into the ring.Kdogg gets up and is clotheslined by Golfberg Golfberg gets set. Oh no. Spear! Golfberg grabs his golfclub and sticks it in between Kdoggs legs. Figure Fore leg lock!!!!!!!! The crowd is...watching.WILDLY! Kdogg cant help it. But wait!!! Omg! ITS.ITS...yardtard..He runs to the the ring with a chair and hits golfberg in the face with it, then hits himself with it sending him out of the ring landing head first. Yardtard flails his arms back to the back. Kdogg gets up. Doggy DDT! Here we go..he points to hisself.5 Star Dogg splash! 1.2.3!!!! Kdogg is the first GWF world champion! Kdogg's parents go wild!!Golfberg runs backstage after Yardtard as Old Man Roberts talks about "that darn rap hip hop music" and "those darn punk kids" Kdogg poses with the title then announces that the show is ove ras he walks backstage with the belt)  
  
With the first show over everybody was starting to like what they see more and more, and Kdogg was happy because he made 30.00 and Hoga was happy because he made 2.00! The show was a big success.and they planned there next show for February 15th which would be called...THE MONEY MAKER! 


	3. The Money Maker

The money maker-  
  
First, before we get started with the show, lets have a little update session shall we?  
  
First off, lets start off with the newest member of the GWF, Scott Hoxit, or as we will call him now, Scotty Too Hotty. Scotty 2 Hotty Doesn't have no real gimmick other then he's a 12 yr old kid with blonde hair, really scrawny wheres glasses, and has a bad case of A.D.D. Originally he wasn't going to join, but then he threatened to burn our ring and proceded to trying to burn the trampoline, so, We beat the crap out of him, told him what to do, and VOILA! An instant new superstar! But is he the only new superstar? Just watch and learn as the GWF brings you the craptacularness that is...  
  
THE MONEY MAKER!  
  
( our new pyrotechnic's guy, Greg's little brother, Jeff, stick some roman candles in the ground on the way to the ring, lights them up, and watches them explode. He runs back to his parents. The crowd looks somewhat larger by about 1 new person, the janitor at our school named Dan. All the rest are the same people from last time. K-dogg runs to the ring to iron man to run down tonites card.)  
  
Kdogg: Good evening everyone and welcome to another great show from the GWF! Tonites card is grand and awesome. Let me run down it.  
  
Bart Hart vs. El Jobber: El Jobber comes out to fasten his jobbing skills as he goes against the Excellence of crap-o-cution.BART HART. Will bart hart make el jobber submit or will he win some other way?We'll just have to wait and see.  
  
The Hatchet vs. Scotty 2 Hotty: Brother vs. Brother. Blood vs. Blood. Family vs. Family. Who will prevail in the war of the brothers? Will Scotty 2 Hotty 's Ritalin last long enough in this match to keep his attention span focused on the hatchet. Or will the Hatchet drop the hatchet ring on Scotty?  
  
White Cracka G vs. Yardtard (Hardcore match) the rematch nobody has been waiting for! Yardtard's crappyness could continue through this match, or will White Cracka G somehow carry The slave of XTREEEME through a good match?  
  
Goldpsycho vs. Hoga (Ladder match): that's right, a ladder match. Hanging from a tree limb above the ladder are two dollars, which both of these ..teenagers.want. Will hoga get the two dollars and buy himself a can of beenie weenies or will goldpsycho get them and put them in his bank account?  
Crisco Inferno vs. golfberg (rights to beat the crap out of yardtard next month) Yardtard seemingly has ticked off both of these guys, and both want to beat the guy down! Who will prevail as the Disco Dancing, Crisco advertising, Ford truck riding (WHOOO! Sorry, Ric flair moment) flaming machine, takes on the almighty Golfberg! Will Golfberg end up putting for a double bogey?  
  
HSK vs. The Nudertaker (number 1 contenders match for GWF title): The nudertaker has proved himself worthy of a title shot after his beating he gave to crisco inferno. HSK...well I dunno what he did. But anyways, it should be one great match!  
  
Kdogg vs The Rick. The great uno, the rick finally gets a shot at the most prestigous title in all of GWF. Kdogg, is ready, The Rick is ready, but the question is..ARE YOU READY!? Then lets GET READY TO TUMBLEEEEEEE!  
  
(Kdogg walks to the back as El Jobber slides into the ring in a blue ski mask and baggy camo pants as "weird mexican music" plays. It seems that Old Man Roberts doesn't like "those darn illegal aliens" and proceeds to whacking El jobber in the knee with his cane, even though El Jobber is actually white underneath. Bret's theme hits and bart hart comes out in his leather jacket and overalls. He gives his cheap 1.00 glasses to his girlfriend, then gives her a kiss, causing Old Man Roberts to whack him in the head with his cane because he doesn't like "Those darn punk kids and their premarital sex."with both men down before the match starts, the ref starts counting...1..2...3..4..5..El jobber gets up and punches Bart! The crowd goes crazy! Jobber got some offense in! Bart punches El Jobber back knocking Jobber down and out cold. Reverse chinlock by Bart!Jobber gets up and Bart hart turns the chinlock into a legsweep! Bart hits a running kneedrop to the cranium of el Jobber. EYE GOUGE OF DOOM by Bart Hart! Wait whats this? El Jobber gives up to the EYE GOUGE OF DOOM! The crowd goes wild as El Jobber rolls out of the tramporing injured. Bart hart celebrates in the ring, but wait, from behind.ITS JANITOR DAN! Janitor dan knocks Bart Harts legs out from under him with a broomstick! Janitor dan hits him throat first with it! The crowd boos and Old Man Roberts throws his cane at the janitor and yells about "those low life high school graduates who never could get a real life." Janitor dan goes under the tramporing and grabs a..a..omg...no...not that.A BUCKET OF PUKE ( dog food mixed with chili,doritos, and lemonade plus some dead rats to make it stink even worse.) Dan pours the puke on Bart hart! The crowd boos wildly as Dan gets out of the ring and goes inside the house. The Pyrotechnic guy drags Bart to the outside of the ring as Hoga's music hits. The crowd just stares blankly as Hoga walks out in his red and yellow sweatsuit.Hoga grabs the Karaoke mic.)  
  
Hoga: You know something Hogamaniacs?Right after I took that two dollars from goldpsycho That Bozo Kdogg took the money from me and told me I would have to fight for it! Well you know what brother? Fighting is what I do best! Definitely for two dollars! I would be rich! So, Goldpsycho, you better be ready for a beating, because Hogamania will run wild on you!!!!!!  
  
(Hoga walks back to the house. "I like big butts" hits as the hatchet comes out carrying his hatchet. He gets in the ring and waits for his brother. "Scotty 2 Hotty's" theme hits as Scotty 2 Hotty runs out and shakes the ropes wildly, the jumps on hatchet's back and punds away at his face! Hatchet falls back nearly crushing Scotty. Hatchet kicks Scotty in the ribs several times, then slaps him in his face. But wait, Scotty bites Hatchet in the nose and wont let go! Hatchet screams in pain as Scotty doesn't let go of the nose bite. Hatchet throws scotty over his shoulders to the outside of the ring! It seems scotty landed right on a big rock. Scotty kicks and screams in pain.Scotty tries to get back in the ring but Hatchet kicks him back! Scotty falls backwards Scotty tries again, but gets his face rammed into the trampoline railing. Scotty's lip is busted. Scotty gets in the ring and starts punching at the hatchet wildly but to no evail. Oh no.wait..SCOTTY KICKS HATCHET IN THE WALNUTS! Hatchet falls down in pain and gets up and tackles scotty and starts punching him in the face!Scotty tries to get him off but cant. Hatchet stands up..oh no..HATCHET DROP! 1..2..3! hatchet wins! Scotty is a bloody mess and his glasses are broke. Scotty flips Hatchet off, mounts his four wheeler and rides back to his house. Hatchet gets out of the ring victorious and goes into the house.)  
  
(The Rock's theme hits as The Rick comes out in his preppy clothes. The Rick gets in the ring and grabs the mic to many cheers and boo's.)  
  
The Rick: FINALLY THE RICK.HAS COME BACK.TO..ATLANTA GEORGIA! (crowd stares blankly) So finally, the great uno, the rick, gets his title shot he so truly deserves, finally, the rick gets a chance to prove himself worthy of the championships by laying the chopdown on kdoggs Candy Cane! So be prepared Kdogg, because when I get out there, im gonna take your little..uhh...Glasses..sine them up and stick them up a dogs butt! IF YOU SMELALALALALALALALALAOW..WHAT THE RICK.IS..COOKING.  
  
(The rick walks back to the house, just as "Thugz mansion" by Tupac hits and White Cracka G walks out with head phones on rapping on his way to the ring. "Weird annoyinh rock music" plays as yardtard runs out wearing glow in the dark paint and flailing his arms around yelling XTREEEEEME and blade his arm continuously. YARDTARD gets in the ring and blades his forehead and flails his arms some more. White cracka attack from behind with a Eminem "infinite" Vinyl album! Yardtard goes over the ropes, lands on his shoulder gets up, does a backflip landing on his head before running his shoulder into the oak tree. White Cracka kicks yardtard in the stomach. Yardtard does a front flip. White cracka grabs the PINK CHAIR OF DOOM! WHAM! Right over yardtards head. Yardtard falls limp. White cracka puts the chair against the tree then throws Yardtard into it. Yard tard yell loudly and blades his forehead deeply. Yardtard gives white cracka a sloppy kick to the stomach and what looks like some sort of ugly sloppy DDT onto the chair. Yardtard gets on the trampoline and does the hardy boys sign then does a crappy front flip landing jaw first on the ground and missing White cracka by a good two feet. White Cracka picks yardtard up and throws him into the oak tree and continuously rams his head into it. White cracks whips yardtard into the Tramporing. White Cracka gets in and leg drops Yardtard causing Yardtard to flip over twice and throw himself intot he metal posting holding up the ropes. Cracka grabs Yardtard and DDT's him. Cracka hits the The homie G Bomb to the doggs in the ghetto. 1.2.3! Cracka wins! Cracka grabs a mic. )  
  
White Cracka G: Yo whats up G doggs! Peace out to the westide of my homey doggs. Yo, dawgs, I just want to let you know that this match is dedicated to my main brotha tupac, my main dogg. And remember dawgs, he is returning!  
  
(White cracka walks back off.)  
  
(The ladder is set in the middle of the tramporing as "Psycho" by SOAD hits and Goldpsycho walks out accompanied by Silver Psycho. Gold walks out to decent sized cheers. It seems gregs mom likes guys in spandex jumpsuits.the weirdo. Hoga's theme hits and the crowd goes absolutely nuts, which wakes Old Man Roberts up and makes him start cussing. Hoga walks out and goes around the fans asking for money. Hoga gets in the ring and does Hogans taunts.The bell ( a piece of tin and a stick) rings and the match begins. Hoga and Gold circle eachother to start. They lock up. Headlock by hoga, but Gold irish whips him into the ropes and powerslams him.Gold gets the ladder and quickly sets it up, but remember, this is a trampoline. Hoga jumps up and down sending the ladder down. Hoga clotheslines Gold then twistes his face with his foot (Eddy guererro style) Hoga poses for the crowd, and Silver tries to trip him, getting hogas attention as Gold german suplexes Hoga. Gold grabs the ladder and rams it into the rib cage of Hoga. Gold sets the ladder up while silver holds it down. Hoga breaks Silvers hand from the ladder and pushes the lader over causing Gold to bounce of the mat and land outside! Hoga quickly sets the ladder up and climbs, but wait. Silver hits Hoga in the back with a chair! Hoga falls over. Gold crawls back in with the chair and bustes it over his head again. Suplex onto the chair! Gold rubs his body. Crowd...stares. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those damn homosexuals wearing tight clothing" Gold starts climbing again. Hes almost to the top but hoga is climbing as well. They exchange punches before the ladder tips over due to the weight! They both fall to the outside. Hoga lands face first in dog crap too. Hoga realizes he landed in dog crap and throws up on Gold who throws up as well. After hoga gets a towel to wipe the dog crap on his face he rams Gold into the trampoling railing then throws him back in. Silver low blows Hoga from behind with a metal pipe! Ouch! Silver kicks hoga in the face! Gold starts climbing the ladder, but hoga is under the tramporing and pushes it over from down under! Gold luckily land sin the ring this time. Silver tries to attack with a chair but Hoga takes it away from him and blasts him with it instead! Hoga gets in the ring. Some random fan throws a chip in the ring. Hoga sees it and eats it! Gold gets up and punches Hoga. NO EFFECT! Hoga is Hogging up!!! Gold tries some more punches to no evail before hoga clotheslines Gold and hits the mediocre leg drop! Hoga climbs the ladder and luckily grabs the 2.00 before the ladder falls over! HOGA WINS! THE CROWD GOES CRAZY! Hoga goes crazy and runs all the way to the tote a poke as silver na dgold limp back to the house.)  
  
("Shake your booty plays" as Crisco inferno runs out in a Crisco T Shirt with a sparkly vest over it. He tells the fans to buy Crisco while disco dancing. He gets on the trampoling railing opens the crisco bottle and drinks it then spits it out HHH style! EW! Crisco gets in the ring and grabs a mic)  
  
Crisco: Hey my funk Brothers! Who wants to see the flaming machine totally criscoize Golfberg?(crowd is dead)..alright then. DISCO IS NOT DEAD! * Thrustes pelvis*  
  
(Golfberg's theme hits and the crowd goes crazy as Golfbegr runs to the ring and immediately takes Crisco down and punches him wildy. Golfberg picks him up and whips him into the ropes for a flying shoulder tackle. Crisco crawls to the corner (where the metal posts are) And Golfbegr gives him a footchoke. Nut jab! Golfberg falls down in pain. Crisco climbs on the second rope and hits a flying lariat! Crisco disco dances and golfberg locks in the MAIN EVENT SLEEPER. Crisco is dozing...dozing..hes gone.1...2...NO! hes still alive. He fires back with a punch, a punch, thrustes pelvis and a punch. Or what he calls the Crisco Funk Punches. Golfberg no sells and punches Crisco in the ribs and throws him into the ropes. Spear. And some more punches. Golfberg gives him another footchoke then another sleeper. Golfberg then beats his chest wildly and grabs his nine iron. He big boots Crisco and locks in the figure Fore leg lock! Crisco is about to tap when.wait..Its YARDTARD! He grabs the bottle of crisco and throws it into golfbergs face then throws it on his own arm. Yardtard lights his arm on fire, then gives golfberg a FLAMING SLOPPY CLOTHESLINE setting golfbergs face on fire! Crisco looks for the bottle of Crisco buts see's that its all gone. Crisco attacks Yardtard with the Crisco funk Punches sending Yardtard out of the ring with a backflip spraining Yardtards ankle. Golfberg rolls Crisco up with his nine iron!1..2..3!!!! GOLFBERG WINS! Golfberg goes chasing after yardtard with his nine iron as yardtard flails his arms to the house. Golfberg mounts his golfcart and runs over yardtard! Then locks in the Figure Fore leg lock! Superstars run out and kick Yardtard to break the hold.because they hate him also. Golfberg walks back into the house beating his chest.  
  
While the pyrotechnic guy drags Yardtard back into the house. Doctors office sounds play as Heart Stopping kid walks out with a scalpel and a syringe. HSK is yelling "Choppy choppy of Nude mans Wee wee". Suddenly, "Odd rock music" hits and the nudertaker drives into the scene on his four wheeler. He goes to go all around the Tramporing but HSK baseball kicks Nudertaker off from inside the ring. HSK gets on the trampoling railing and elbows Nudertaker in the head he grabs the scalpel and tries to cut off Nudies wee wee but Nudertaker holds it back and kicks HSK in the stomach and throws him into the barbwire. Butt thump onto HSK by Nudertaker! Nudertaker throws HSK in the ring. Nudertaker chokes HSK inside the ring but HSK puts a Blood pressure thing on Nudies neck and pumps it up and isnt stopping! Nudey goes down and his face is getting red. Nudey stands up and jerks the blood pressure thing off of his neck. Superkick by HSK! HSK grabs his syringe and tries to stick it in Nudertakers arm but Nudertaker grabs him by the neck and double handed chokeslams him. Uh oh. Nudertaker hikes up his thong and slaps his butt cheeks. He goes for the stinkface but HSK INSERTS THE NEEDLE INTO NUDERTAKERS BUTTCHEEK! Nudertaker jumps up supries and pulls it out. HSK didn't have time to put the medicine in! Nudertaker throws the needle out of the ring and HSK gets out of the ring and points to his head saying "im smart." Then Nudertaker grabs him by his hair and pulls him onto the railing then throws him into the ring. Nudertaker slaps HSK in the head a little. Then sets him up for a powerbomb. HSK puts a glove on after being powerbombed secretly. Nudertaker hikes it up again and goes for the stinkface again. HSK STICKS HIS HAND INTO THE CRACK OF THE NUDERTAKER! Nudertaker falls down in pain holding his butt. HSK gets ready for some sweet Hospital music. Nudertaker catches his foot and turns it into a chokeslam! Oh no.and finally.THE STINKFACE.but wait..Nudey adds extra flavor by farting!!! Nudertaker pins HSK..1..2..3!!!!Nudertaker wins and is the number 1 contender for the title! HSK starts throwing up furiously as he walks back to the house. Nudertaker celebrates in the ring before mounting his fourwheeler and driving back to the house. John's grandpa ( the referee)grabs the mic and reads from a cue card)  
  
Grandpa Culpepper: and uhh.now..its time for the (squints) Main? Event? Introducing first..  
  
(the Rocks theme hits as the rick walks out with his 5.00 sunglasses from the dollar store and his 20.00 tommy hilfiger shirt. He walks out to the boos from the crowd. Old Man Roberts complains about "Those darn stuck up rich kids and there pop music".)  
  
Grandpa Culpepper: From Hodgen oklahoma, The Great uno..THE RICK! And now introducing the champion...  
  
("Iron Man"hits and the crowd goes wild as Kdogg runs out in his Harley davidson shirt and Regular cargo pants. He gets in the tramporing and jumps on the turnbuckle. He does the RVD taunt. Kdogg and the rick stand in the middle of the ring as the crowd..clap? and old man roberts complains about "Being home before the price is right comes on" Kdogg and Rick talks smack. Rick turns around and goes for a cheap shot but Kdogg blocks it and clobbers Rick into the ropes. Irish whip and a knee to the stomach send srick to the corner. Spinning wheel kick by Kdogg. Top rope leg drop by Kdogg misses. Suplex by the rick! The rick slaps Kdogg two times, spits in his hand and rubs his hand in Kdogg's face with Kdogg distracted by that Rick runs off the ropes and bulldogs Kdogg. The rick flips off one of his friends in the crowd causing Old Man Roberts to hit The Rick in the leg with his cane! Rick falls down in pain! Kdogg hits a senton splash!1.2.no! Kdogg goes tot he outside of the ring and grabs a ALUMINUM PIE HOLDER OF DOOM. He gets back in the ring, raise sht epie holder above Ricks head, and John's Grandpa takes it from him! Kdogg argues with him causing the rick to roll him up.1..2..NO! The rick slaps the mat angrily and slams Kdogg down. Elbo by The rick. Pinfall..1.2.no! Rick arghues with the ref. Kdogg takes The rick's leg out and locks in a half Crab! Rick is in pain! Rick reaches for the rope and fnally grabs it! Ricks gets up, Kdogg runs off the ropes, Backdrop to the outside, but wait, Kdogg lande don the mat! Hangman neck choke onto the ropes! Kdogg gets back in the ring. Basement drops kick to the knees of the rick. Kdogg signals that this is about to be over but wait..some guy ride on a bikes to the ring.who the? He gets in the ring and DDT's Kdogg! The man goe sback to his bike and grabs out of the bicycle basket a big rolled up bunch of nespapers. He hits Kdogg in the head with them! Kdogg turns around dazed into the RICK BOTTOM! Here it comes. He takes of his timmy hilifger shirt...runs off the ropes. THE RICK PEOPLE'S ELBOW! 1...2...3!!!! THE RICK IS NEW GWF CHAMPION! The Rick runs back tot he house quickly as this new guy grabs a mic.  
  
Guy: you all know who I am...I'm the one that tells you whats happening in the weather, im the one who tells you funny jokes and challenges you with hard crosswords. I tell you last nights results of the local sports team. I ride on a bike for a minimum wage of 2.00 a paper..that's right..im..THE PAPERBOY! And I challenge you Kdogg next month because you didnt pay your subscription! Since I screwed you out of the title, ill make this a number one contenders match as well...so be ready..and watch out.because the Paperboy.HAS BAD AIM AT THROWING PAPERS! HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHHA.(jumps on his bicycle and peddles back down the street.)  
  
We debuted two consecutive new stars..Janitor Dan.who is now the oldest man in the fed at the age of 30, and The Paperboy. Whos a guy name dAndrew Smithwick in real life. With this show over we made a total of 32.00! giving us a total amount of 62.00! expect more improvements as our bank account gets larger. Watch out WWE The GWF is breaking through quickly! Tune in next month as, in honor of Wrestlemania..we hold...BACKYARDMANIA I !  
OOOOSHOOO 


End file.
